Still Searching for It...

Today we went to The Broken Plate for lunch and went shopping for Flora/AC's wedding. Hooray...at least we got them what they wanted haha. Hmm....I think this is the most I've ever prepped myself for someone's wedding in terms of purchasing the right gift in advance! Lucky them!! :P

I've been thinking about the possibility of joining a small group with Tony, Kenric, Milton, Geo and a few others starting in a few months or so. I really have been praying for some stronger friendships with my brothers at CPC lately. I've also been praying for people I can be accountable to in various areas of my life. I've had some accountability in the past, but they've all fallen through. Not that my partners were never trustworthy--because they definitely were VERY trustworthy--but the accountability just died down. No communicaiton = no accountability. It's just that simple!! :) It's time for brothers to stand strong. Let's stop being boys and let's be Men. Let's stand together guys!

I'm in a place right now of extreme discontent. Now don't get me wrong. Man, I love the way things are going with YAC and my relationship with brothers and sisters have been improving over the course of the last few months. I'm living with God on my mind daily and doing my best to honour Him but there's this feeling of discontent with my life. Is it just fear of the future? I have no idea. I'm really confused still about what I want in life. I can honestly see the possibility of me leaving my life in Calgary to persue other things but what Karl Feltmate said this Sunday was very interesting to me. God desires things for us but things aren't "going to work out in God's will no matter what we do." He took the stance against fatalism and said that even if God wants something, if we don't do it, it ain't going to happen even if God wants it to. Interesting. Maybe the part of me that believes in fatalism believes that if I won't want to live God's will, He will do it through someone else....but I don't want to miss out. I want to live God's will in my own life....I want to be as close to my Father as possible!

I have no idea what this life is about but there has to be something more doesn't there? I don't know...I'm just becoming really disatisfied with the mundane routine. Am I meant to just live this life of 9-5 work and struggling to pay off debts or is there more? Is there more? God is there more?