I don't know what's with me but I think I'm really starting to lose patience with certain people and certain situations in my life. I think it's really hard because I'm trying not to become this person who isolates himself from everyone and just always doing my own thing but I can't help it. I know deep down, I long for belonging and community but with some people I think it's easier to stay away then to love. And yet God is humbling me and asking me "Kingston, why you gotta be like that?" And then I say, "Well God, why do THEY have to be like that?" So which to bury: us or the impatience? :P God I'm open to Your help but I can't do this alone if I think you want it the way you do......God let me give the love to those who need it the most wherever I am.....
Today was very interesting because my Prof came in to see me teach one last time before she writes my assessment and honestly, I didn't expect her to come. She said she would just drop by unexpectantly and that way was fine with me beucase I could concentrate on teaching and not getting anxious over her visit. Things went GREAT today PTL!!! :) She actually said "out of all the classes I've seen, I haven't seen the spirit of inquiry like I've seen it in your class today." WOW! I'm not all for inquiry but that was quite the thing to say. I don't consider myself inquiry based and yet the whole MT program at U of C is based on that. I think it's all a load......:P
What I don't think is a load of dung is something I watched on 20/20 just now. Well, I was looking for "The Nine" but I guess it isn't on tonight. Anyways, they were talking about some experiment they performed where they set up charity donation stations (like they always do around the mall and at stores during this time of year). One was set up in some conservative rural town in California while another was set up in San Fran. which of course most of you know as being more Liberal. Which place ended up with the most money? Definitely not San Fran. The rural and more conservative place gave more and the trend happens to be true all over America. The places with the most Conservative people (according to Election results), gave approx. 30% more money to non profit organizations than liberals in the USA. The story is true also with nonmonetary giving as 18% more blood was given by conservatives than liberals. Also, these conservative States were also a lot poorer than the others. According to statistics, it was either the poorer working class or the extremely rich who gave the most. The cheapskates of the bunch were the majority middle class. 20/20 was saying how funny it was that the middle class was complaining about not having enough money when all these people were able to give a portion of each of their paycheques to charity who were from the poorer working class. Also in the statistics, people who gave lots of money to church and considered themselves spiritual are not only more likely to give to the church, but they give more money generously to charities not affiliated with church. Hmmm......interesting stuff...well for me anyways!!! :)
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Reflections
Hooray! I sold my Nintendo Wii today on Ebay for $25 US more than what I bought mine for. Profits baby!! :) And when I bought my Wii, I got Zelda with it so you can see it as me getting Zelda for free or me actually making a profit of $70-80!!! :)
Well it's the last week of student teaching and it was the last Monday I'll ever be with my class. Like Jon, I've found my passion for teaching too and yet like him, I also question whether I'm starting to place teaching over God. That's been racing through my head as of late and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not because even though I'm loving teaching, I'm always looking forward to the end of the day. I love teaching as a job, but like any job, I just can't wait for it to be finished! So really, school's not taking His place...but I've got school down somewhat. I really am going to miss my kids but I can't wait until this week is over because I want to move on and not look back on being a student teacher---I want to be a REAL teacher! :P I guess it's just my impatience kicking in....always looking forward to the next step in life I think.
One of my favorite students was lingering in the classroom today after the bell rang and I asked him if something was wrong. He replied, "no...it's just....are you sure you HAVE to leave this week Mr. Wong? Why can't you leave next week instead?" This isn't the first time he's kind of acted this way but it was the first time he's really been saddened by it lol. He and I talked for a bit and I proceeded to the door to "walk him out" of the classroom. He started walking to the other end of the school to get his coat at the coat rack and he turned around and looked at me and talked as he walked backwards and by the end of it, it was like the conversation was the last one we'd ever have. It was kind of sad. It's funny in a way because I wasn't going to tell the kids I was leaving until the last day originally but when I told them last week I was leaving soon, some of them were sad haha. "Are you going to miss us Mr. Wong?" another one of my favorites asked me today. And to tell you the truth...I will most definitely will. I should go and visit them over the course of the Winter semester haha. I actually like most/all of my students a lot and honestly, I think I will NEVER forget this group of students.
As I think about it all....where I was and where I am now, I can't help but to thank God for His provisions in my life. I was never the dumb kid in school...I did well in most of my subjects...and when things looked bleak in terms of getting high enough marks to get into Education, He got me in and I'll NEVER forget that. He helped me realize that I can live out a life of passion through a relationship with Him and through the work He's given me to do. Because of Him, I've known love and know how to love. And because of Him, I get to finish off with TWO degrees baby!!! To God be all the glory both now and forevermore.....it's all about You...may this story you've written through the unfolding adventures of my life give Your namesake all the praise it's due....
Well it's the last week of student teaching and it was the last Monday I'll ever be with my class. Like Jon, I've found my passion for teaching too and yet like him, I also question whether I'm starting to place teaching over God. That's been racing through my head as of late and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not because even though I'm loving teaching, I'm always looking forward to the end of the day. I love teaching as a job, but like any job, I just can't wait for it to be finished! So really, school's not taking His place...but I've got school down somewhat. I really am going to miss my kids but I can't wait until this week is over because I want to move on and not look back on being a student teacher---I want to be a REAL teacher! :P I guess it's just my impatience kicking in....always looking forward to the next step in life I think.
One of my favorite students was lingering in the classroom today after the bell rang and I asked him if something was wrong. He replied, "no...it's just....are you sure you HAVE to leave this week Mr. Wong? Why can't you leave next week instead?" This isn't the first time he's kind of acted this way but it was the first time he's really been saddened by it lol. He and I talked for a bit and I proceeded to the door to "walk him out" of the classroom. He started walking to the other end of the school to get his coat at the coat rack and he turned around and looked at me and talked as he walked backwards and by the end of it, it was like the conversation was the last one we'd ever have. It was kind of sad. It's funny in a way because I wasn't going to tell the kids I was leaving until the last day originally but when I told them last week I was leaving soon, some of them were sad haha. "Are you going to miss us Mr. Wong?" another one of my favorites asked me today. And to tell you the truth...I will most definitely will. I should go and visit them over the course of the Winter semester haha. I actually like most/all of my students a lot and honestly, I think I will NEVER forget this group of students.
As I think about it all....where I was and where I am now, I can't help but to thank God for His provisions in my life. I was never the dumb kid in school...I did well in most of my subjects...and when things looked bleak in terms of getting high enough marks to get into Education, He got me in and I'll NEVER forget that. He helped me realize that I can live out a life of passion through a relationship with Him and through the work He's given me to do. Because of Him, I've known love and know how to love. And because of Him, I get to finish off with TWO degrees baby!!! To God be all the glory both now and forevermore.....it's all about You...may this story you've written through the unfolding adventures of my life give Your namesake all the praise it's due....
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Finally......REST!!!
Well, at least a small one. :) I did nothing today but relax and it felt weird...I felt almost useless lol. Part of the reason for the rest is because of my eye infection. I need to get lots of rest and am wishing I will be well for school on Monday. I think Sarah gave me pink even though it's scientifically impossible because we didn't see each other for over a week lol.
I've got 1 more week of practicum and then 1 more week to work on my education resume and scrapbooking assignment to explain what the therories of teacher are that I've developed. After that, it's Christmas shopping time haha. I really can't wait.
What I did spend a lot of time doing today was look at Future Shop's website and did some TV research. We're going to be buying a new one soon so hopefully I can get some info on all that from them and from you guys who have all bought a new TV. Haha....I'm excited to get a new TV to go alone with my Wii. Mother's buying the television for us for Christmas...well, she's paying for MOST of it haha! :)
I remember when I was young, I used to go through my ONE comic box full of my old comics every once in awhile. Well, it's been so long since I've done that and yet I did that today. That's where I got the image of Spidey and MJ from that you see above. I couldn't find it online anywhere so I took a pic of it and there it is! It's a painting done by Gabriele Dell'Otto. He's amazing! Too bad it takes him 3-4 months to paint one full issue of a comic!!! Crazy eh?
So how am I feeling as of late? Content. I think there are a lot of uncertainties right now for me but at least my heart is calm. There's been a storm raging for months, but I've noticed that Jesus is continuously speaking into that.....but still, I know I'm not the same person I use to be. I see a lot of things differently. Relationships. God. Ministries. Church. Teaching. The paragdigm of it all has really shifted and my understanding of it all has changed so much. I'm starting to believe that God has let this shift happen in me for a reason and that maybe God doesn't want me to go back to the way I was but I'm suppose to use what I've learnt and let myself continue to be this way. The old me had some pros and cons and the newer me has different pros and different cons. Well, I'm actually confused as to why I'm writing this all because as I write this, I am asking myself, "why are you writing this? You just started this paragraph saying you were content!!!" I AM content and I AM calm right now...but still...I still am analyzing and trying to take it all in and yet make sense of it all. :)
I've got 1 more week of practicum and then 1 more week to work on my education resume and scrapbooking assignment to explain what the therories of teacher are that I've developed. After that, it's Christmas shopping time haha. I really can't wait.
What I did spend a lot of time doing today was look at Future Shop's website and did some TV research. We're going to be buying a new one soon so hopefully I can get some info on all that from them and from you guys who have all bought a new TV. Haha....I'm excited to get a new TV to go alone with my Wii. Mother's buying the television for us for Christmas...well, she's paying for MOST of it haha! :)
I remember when I was young, I used to go through my ONE comic box full of my old comics every once in awhile. Well, it's been so long since I've done that and yet I did that today. That's where I got the image of Spidey and MJ from that you see above. I couldn't find it online anywhere so I took a pic of it and there it is! It's a painting done by Gabriele Dell'Otto. He's amazing! Too bad it takes him 3-4 months to paint one full issue of a comic!!! Crazy eh?
So how am I feeling as of late? Content. I think there are a lot of uncertainties right now for me but at least my heart is calm. There's been a storm raging for months, but I've noticed that Jesus is continuously speaking into that.....but still, I know I'm not the same person I use to be. I see a lot of things differently. Relationships. God. Ministries. Church. Teaching. The paragdigm of it all has really shifted and my understanding of it all has changed so much. I'm starting to believe that God has let this shift happen in me for a reason and that maybe God doesn't want me to go back to the way I was but I'm suppose to use what I've learnt and let myself continue to be this way. The old me had some pros and cons and the newer me has different pros and different cons. Well, I'm actually confused as to why I'm writing this all because as I write this, I am asking myself, "why are you writing this? You just started this paragraph saying you were content!!!" I AM content and I AM calm right now...but still...I still am analyzing and trying to take it all in and yet make sense of it all. :)
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Words of Wisdom
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you feel alive, and go do that, becuase what the world needs is people who have come to life." --Gil Bailie
"Never make a principle out of your experience; let God be as original with other people as He is with you."--Oswald Chambers
"Why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die?" --Jonny Lang
"Never make a principle out of your experience; let God be as original with other people as He is with you."--Oswald Chambers
"Why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die?" --Jonny Lang
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Jonny Lang Give Me Up Again
Hmmm so I picked up his CD with this song and I love it. Well, I've only listened to 5 songs so far...but it's good 'cause I've never picked up a Blues CD. Expand a little horizons there eh? :P I'm going to pick up his Gospel album at HMV hopefully this weekend!
Man I'm so tired right now...gotta play some Wii before I watch "The Nine" though. Lessons are going smoothly so far but Parent/Teacher Interviews are tommorrow and they go from 5-8pm. ARG!!! :P Way to cut into my personal life but better get used to them haha.
I heard a Jars of Clay song while a promotion was going on for "House" on Fox. It made me think, "geez, I haven't listened to that CD in a few weeks!" I popped the CD back in and now I remember why I love it haha! www.christianitytoday.com listed it as the best Christian CD of the year and I think I'd have to mostly agree because the songs are just brilliant! Actually, they listed Jonny Lang's new CD at number 4 so it better be good when I go buy it!!! :P
6 more teaching days of practicum left! Whoo hoo! (Notice how this whole blog just talked about music, then teaching, then music, then teaching.....? Man, it's like a circle story!!! :P)
Monday, November 20, 2006
"My Cat's Name is Mittens"
Everyone thinks Ralph Wiggum is super cool and cute and whatever but have you ever wondered if such a kid were to actually exist, would we think this kid to be cool? Well there's this one kid who is so like Ralph Wiggum in my class and he's absolutely annoying lol. I want to strangle this kid....seriously. Today he farted and I heard it but no one else said anything. He ducked down and shifted his eyes left and right haha and it was so obvious it was him--he really did a bad job of hiding it...lol.
I'm really digging music by Jonny Lang right now...I think I'm going to pick up some of his stuff soon..... :) He's got some nice guitar skills and he's kind of a gospel/blues kind a guy. He released 3 mainstream CDs first but convereted by the time his fourth CD hit. Anyways, good stuff!!! :)
So I wanted to do some lesson planning but haven't done so yet. The reason is because I'm now officially no longer "Wii-less." We're playing it right now haha. Still need to get 3 more Wii-motes though....I heard they are coming in on Friday? I want to play but maybe I should be be responsible....Should I call in sick or not call in sick tommorrow?......hmmmm....lol..... :)
PS I got the Beta version of Blogger and it's better and faster!
I'm really digging music by Jonny Lang right now...I think I'm going to pick up some of his stuff soon..... :) He's got some nice guitar skills and he's kind of a gospel/blues kind a guy. He released 3 mainstream CDs first but convereted by the time his fourth CD hit. Anyways, good stuff!!! :)
So I wanted to do some lesson planning but haven't done so yet. The reason is because I'm now officially no longer "Wii-less." We're playing it right now haha. Still need to get 3 more Wii-motes though....I heard they are coming in on Friday? I want to play but maybe I should be be responsible....Should I call in sick or not call in sick tommorrow?......hmmmm....lol..... :)
PS I got the Beta version of Blogger and it's better and faster!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Closure Part II
I think I'm going crazy. I really am bad at overthinking things and over-analyzing things. It's easier just to resolve things and talk things out with people but sometimes, it's beyond our control. However, when we can resolve things with people but choose not to, I have to wonder why? Do we like holding onto our confusions and thus second guessing everything? It makes the self going crazy always wondering.....yet we choose to be that way. Weird isn't it? :P
And that's why I find closure with people is such a big deal. I know I've talked about this before, but I've learnt more about this phenomenon lately. When there are problems, we should talk it over. However, closure is a multiple step process. Just because you've talked things over with someone, it's not usually enough if it's only been done once. People are insecure and need constant reassurance. You can try to bridge gaps with people and at the end of a healing session with someone, you think things are alright again, but really, they're not. And then there's awkwardness again. "Oh dang, I thought we talked about that already!" Haha...see where I'm going with this?
Well, somethings been driving me crazy as of late. I told my buddies at Men's Group about such a situation and that I was going to resolve something with someone and that it was going to happen after the Men's Meeting. My mind dwelled on it all night. I am happy to report that things went well and for once in a long time with this friend, I feel at peace with it all.
I wanted to have closure on another situation today but the person only had 5 minutes to talk so now I have to wait for this person to call me back later tonight. Talk about nerve-wrecking. I hope this situation ends well. :) May it lead to closure.
I think closure is so important--how can we just let things dwindle? Stop the insanity!!! I need a lot more closure with more people and situations but I'll take what I can get for now. If things work out tonight, then I guess that will be two less things to worry about and my mind can be more at peace! :P
And that's why I find closure with people is such a big deal. I know I've talked about this before, but I've learnt more about this phenomenon lately. When there are problems, we should talk it over. However, closure is a multiple step process. Just because you've talked things over with someone, it's not usually enough if it's only been done once. People are insecure and need constant reassurance. You can try to bridge gaps with people and at the end of a healing session with someone, you think things are alright again, but really, they're not. And then there's awkwardness again. "Oh dang, I thought we talked about that already!" Haha...see where I'm going with this?
Well, somethings been driving me crazy as of late. I told my buddies at Men's Group about such a situation and that I was going to resolve something with someone and that it was going to happen after the Men's Meeting. My mind dwelled on it all night. I am happy to report that things went well and for once in a long time with this friend, I feel at peace with it all.
I wanted to have closure on another situation today but the person only had 5 minutes to talk so now I have to wait for this person to call me back later tonight. Talk about nerve-wrecking. I hope this situation ends well. :) May it lead to closure.
I think closure is so important--how can we just let things dwindle? Stop the insanity!!! I need a lot more closure with more people and situations but I'll take what I can get for now. If things work out tonight, then I guess that will be two less things to worry about and my mind can be more at peace! :P
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Beta
Has anyone made the switch to the new blogger in beta yet? Just wondering if anyone has and if it's good because it says that if you make the switch, you can't go back to the old version. Anyone? :)
So things have been busy with me at school and I got to create my very first unit test yesterday! Boy, it took me forever and coming up with good questions for kids is actaully a very time consuming task. You have to make sure your grammar is correct and you have to make sure your sentences aren't too wordy. It's quite fun, yet it really tests your patience at the same time lol!
I'm really tired and am just hoping I can survive this last month of school. 2.5 more weeks of practicum and then 1 week of classes at school. I have to get my resume ready and get my final project ready too within this time frame. I thought I was going to do a paper for my last project, but it turns out my prof wants me to create a scrapbook lol. That's the MT program for you; we've been reduced to artsy fartsy craft making! :P
Remember how I was complaining last year about my horrible prof at U of C? LOL...I told everyone I wasn't going to use her for a reference and that I didn't like her and how stupid she was and all. However, I just finished emailing her asking if she would write me a reference letter for my application to The CBE. Oh how things can change so quickly lol. Looks like I'd be eatin' my words. :P LOL
Anyways, not much else new with me. Just trying to get through the rest of the semester! I just got some confusing news from this article concerning the Wii: Wii DVD Next Fall? So now that you've read it, should I wait 'til next year or buy it on Sunday? :P
So things have been busy with me at school and I got to create my very first unit test yesterday! Boy, it took me forever and coming up with good questions for kids is actaully a very time consuming task. You have to make sure your grammar is correct and you have to make sure your sentences aren't too wordy. It's quite fun, yet it really tests your patience at the same time lol!
I'm really tired and am just hoping I can survive this last month of school. 2.5 more weeks of practicum and then 1 week of classes at school. I have to get my resume ready and get my final project ready too within this time frame. I thought I was going to do a paper for my last project, but it turns out my prof wants me to create a scrapbook lol. That's the MT program for you; we've been reduced to artsy fartsy craft making! :P
Remember how I was complaining last year about my horrible prof at U of C? LOL...I told everyone I wasn't going to use her for a reference and that I didn't like her and how stupid she was and all. However, I just finished emailing her asking if she would write me a reference letter for my application to The CBE. Oh how things can change so quickly lol. Looks like I'd be eatin' my words. :P LOL
Anyways, not much else new with me. Just trying to get through the rest of the semester! I just got some confusing news from this article concerning the Wii: Wii DVD Next Fall? So now that you've read it, should I wait 'til next year or buy it on Sunday? :P
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Differences
You ever get that feeling where you are so tired you seem to become a bit dillusional? :P You can't think straight and when you try to focus your eyes, they hurt? Yeah, I have that right now. :P Rubbing doesn't help.....:P
I saw it again today. You know, female friends saying things behind each other's backs. It was driving me nuts last week but today, I just kind of laughed and told my coworkers, "oh girls....why'd you gotta be like that?" And you meet some girls who will admit to being catty, but they can't stop and don't know why. Yet you meet other girls who totally deny it and you have to wonder, which is worse: the girl who admits she's got cattiness in her but can't stop or the one who can't even own up to it? :P
I think it's funny because there's a teacher whom my students see me with at times because she's in the class next door. My students want us to hook up and they tease me all the time. I think the teacher actually does have the hots for me and we're team teaching L.A. together for our two grade 6 classes lol. It kind of seems weird though because she's giving me lots of attention. During a Teacher's social gathering, she got me to polka dance with her and was so casual about asking me to dance with her. She also told me that when Fridays come along, she's a lot more lonely becuase us student teachers aren't around but really, I'm the only one she talks to of us 7 lol. Am I just imagining it or what? :P
I think she doesn't have a clue as to who I really am though. You know, she sees half of me. She sees the teacher; she sees the guy who likes to laugh. Yet she doesn't know the other side. The side of me that is in love with Christ. The side of me that can't stand being apart from Him. And yet that just shows me that Christ is the half that makes the other half work. I can't be anything without Him.
So even though a part of me feels empty without "a someone" in my life, the beauty of it all is He completes me in my emptiness. It hurts, but God is meeting me in it all...how ironic. I've found from the past that when you're in a relationship, the companionship of a woman is a great compliment with the relationship with God but it can often take away from the intense feelings for God. It's been a long time since I've let God be THE ONLY ONE to fill me up completely. When things were over and I had to let go of my previous relationship, I told myself I didn't want Him to be the only one to fill me up anymore and that I wanted someone else to be there to be a part of the equation. Fate would have it that for whatever reason, I'm still not in a relationship right now but for once in a long time, I'm becoming okay with that again. Hopefully it'll be healthy for me though. I don't want to grow tired of waiting and build walls so high that I'm too far from letting anyone into my life (because I know how hard those walls were to break the first time). I'll try hard not to let insecurities get the better of me. I'll try hard to be still and know God and fall more in love with Him again. God, I think I'm falling in love with You again.....I know, it's about time and I've had a lot to learn over these past few months. Thanks for bringing me back.....
I saw it again today. You know, female friends saying things behind each other's backs. It was driving me nuts last week but today, I just kind of laughed and told my coworkers, "oh girls....why'd you gotta be like that?" And you meet some girls who will admit to being catty, but they can't stop and don't know why. Yet you meet other girls who totally deny it and you have to wonder, which is worse: the girl who admits she's got cattiness in her but can't stop or the one who can't even own up to it? :P
I think it's funny because there's a teacher whom my students see me with at times because she's in the class next door. My students want us to hook up and they tease me all the time. I think the teacher actually does have the hots for me and we're team teaching L.A. together for our two grade 6 classes lol. It kind of seems weird though because she's giving me lots of attention. During a Teacher's social gathering, she got me to polka dance with her and was so casual about asking me to dance with her. She also told me that when Fridays come along, she's a lot more lonely becuase us student teachers aren't around but really, I'm the only one she talks to of us 7 lol. Am I just imagining it or what? :P
I think she doesn't have a clue as to who I really am though. You know, she sees half of me. She sees the teacher; she sees the guy who likes to laugh. Yet she doesn't know the other side. The side of me that is in love with Christ. The side of me that can't stand being apart from Him. And yet that just shows me that Christ is the half that makes the other half work. I can't be anything without Him.
So even though a part of me feels empty without "a someone" in my life, the beauty of it all is He completes me in my emptiness. It hurts, but God is meeting me in it all...how ironic. I've found from the past that when you're in a relationship, the companionship of a woman is a great compliment with the relationship with God but it can often take away from the intense feelings for God. It's been a long time since I've let God be THE ONLY ONE to fill me up completely. When things were over and I had to let go of my previous relationship, I told myself I didn't want Him to be the only one to fill me up anymore and that I wanted someone else to be there to be a part of the equation. Fate would have it that for whatever reason, I'm still not in a relationship right now but for once in a long time, I'm becoming okay with that again. Hopefully it'll be healthy for me though. I don't want to grow tired of waiting and build walls so high that I'm too far from letting anyone into my life (because I know how hard those walls were to break the first time). I'll try hard not to let insecurities get the better of me. I'll try hard to be still and know God and fall more in love with Him again. God, I think I'm falling in love with You again.....I know, it's about time and I've had a lot to learn over these past few months. Thanks for bringing me back.....
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Blue Horizons
"Horizon" by 38th Parallel
Another day burns away into darkness
Another blink of the eye of time
I am straining through the blackness
Ever searching for a sign
[Prechorus]
The days grow long and the days grow dark
And the days grow ever colder
The trust that I started with fades as I get older
Though the road is hard
It seems to me there is no way around this
From all you've done for me
I know you'll never break your promise
[Chorus]
So here at the end of this day
Where the world is shaded in gray
I will look to the blue horizons and watch for you to come
When my hope is tattered and torn
When my faith is weathered and worn
I'll look to the blue horizons
I am still walking, evading the shadows
I am still running that narrow line
I'll go wherever you would have me
Man, it's funny because this song is like 3 or 4 years old, but I only heard it recently on Shine. I can't say that I've heard it anytime before a few weeks ago...so that's weird that they would play an old song...especially an old song that isn't already overplayed. :P Anyways, this song is the one that is currently going through Itunes nonstop right now haha! :)
I really wish I had more time to do some personal reading. I still haven't gotten very far in "Searching for God Knows What," but I read the 4th chapter from the book today and I really want to finish this book lol. I also reread a chapter from "Wild at Heart" for tommorrow's Alley Fellowship meeting and I think this was the climax of the entire book! I really enjoyed this chapter because it really spoke to me about things I forgot about lol. I know we'll have some excellent discussion time tommorrow lol. :P
I just found out a friend of mine from Education got dumped by her boyfriend over the weekend. She was all sad and not talking during lunchtime in the staffroom and that was really discouraging for me to see her like that. She said that her boyfriend had thought things were going well at first but he gets scared off when things go to well. Talk about commitment issues!!! :P Well, I couldn't bash the guy because guys my age are usually like that and I have to say I can relate.
I had a talk with another friend from Education today about how her and I came from broken families and the fact that everyone who came from families with parents still together had an easier time going out with people and enjoying themselves while a lot of us who have parents that got divorced find it difficult letting people get too close to them. I think we're the type of people who have been affected really horribly by our parents and thus our faith in relationships just doesn't exist. Seriously, maybe that's my problem. Maybe I like finding reasons to end relationships before things get too up close and personal. Who knows. Maybe that's why a part of me even though wanting the ideal life with marriage and all doesn't mind the safety of singleness. It's better to have the latter than to end up with the resulting crippleness I saw everyone in my family experience. :P Is there a Blue Horizon for me there?
Things are getting busy again in my classroom. It's driving me nuts how my teacher can be so last minute with details lol. On one hand, it teaches me flexibility so I love it but on the other, he can really put me on the spot! I will be taking over the class in a week or so full-time for about two weeks so I guess I get a chance to see what I'm made of. I've lost momentum in teaching my class because I missed yesterday due to sickness. Getting back in sync with my students takes a lot more energy than I initially thought. I pray God gives me energy because for some reason, I'm just tired again. Man, I gotta find a way to keep my energy levels up because the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!!!
I think teaching is just a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes you feel like you can do it; sometimes you just regress and want to crawl into a corner and hide. Sometimes you have the drive and energy to make it through the week; sometimes you have weeks where you just want to give up and cry. I think if anyone is mentally unstable, teaching is not for you. Good thing I'm sane to the membrane!! :P
Another day burns away into darkness
Another blink of the eye of time
I am straining through the blackness
Ever searching for a sign
[Prechorus]
The days grow long and the days grow dark
And the days grow ever colder
The trust that I started with fades as I get older
Though the road is hard
It seems to me there is no way around this
From all you've done for me
I know you'll never break your promise
[Chorus]
So here at the end of this day
Where the world is shaded in gray
I will look to the blue horizons and watch for you to come
When my hope is tattered and torn
When my faith is weathered and worn
I'll look to the blue horizons
I am still walking, evading the shadows
I am still running that narrow line
I'll go wherever you would have me
Man, it's funny because this song is like 3 or 4 years old, but I only heard it recently on Shine. I can't say that I've heard it anytime before a few weeks ago...so that's weird that they would play an old song...especially an old song that isn't already overplayed. :P Anyways, this song is the one that is currently going through Itunes nonstop right now haha! :)
I really wish I had more time to do some personal reading. I still haven't gotten very far in "Searching for God Knows What," but I read the 4th chapter from the book today and I really want to finish this book lol. I also reread a chapter from "Wild at Heart" for tommorrow's Alley Fellowship meeting and I think this was the climax of the entire book! I really enjoyed this chapter because it really spoke to me about things I forgot about lol. I know we'll have some excellent discussion time tommorrow lol. :P
I just found out a friend of mine from Education got dumped by her boyfriend over the weekend. She was all sad and not talking during lunchtime in the staffroom and that was really discouraging for me to see her like that. She said that her boyfriend had thought things were going well at first but he gets scared off when things go to well. Talk about commitment issues!!! :P Well, I couldn't bash the guy because guys my age are usually like that and I have to say I can relate.
I had a talk with another friend from Education today about how her and I came from broken families and the fact that everyone who came from families with parents still together had an easier time going out with people and enjoying themselves while a lot of us who have parents that got divorced find it difficult letting people get too close to them. I think we're the type of people who have been affected really horribly by our parents and thus our faith in relationships just doesn't exist. Seriously, maybe that's my problem. Maybe I like finding reasons to end relationships before things get too up close and personal. Who knows. Maybe that's why a part of me even though wanting the ideal life with marriage and all doesn't mind the safety of singleness. It's better to have the latter than to end up with the resulting crippleness I saw everyone in my family experience. :P Is there a Blue Horizon for me there?
Things are getting busy again in my classroom. It's driving me nuts how my teacher can be so last minute with details lol. On one hand, it teaches me flexibility so I love it but on the other, he can really put me on the spot! I will be taking over the class in a week or so full-time for about two weeks so I guess I get a chance to see what I'm made of. I've lost momentum in teaching my class because I missed yesterday due to sickness. Getting back in sync with my students takes a lot more energy than I initially thought. I pray God gives me energy because for some reason, I'm just tired again. Man, I gotta find a way to keep my energy levels up because the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!!!
I think teaching is just a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes you feel like you can do it; sometimes you just regress and want to crawl into a corner and hide. Sometimes you have the drive and energy to make it through the week; sometimes you have weeks where you just want to give up and cry. I think if anyone is mentally unstable, teaching is not for you. Good thing I'm sane to the membrane!! :P
Monday, November 06, 2006
Day of Firsts
Today was the first day that I have called in sick and thus not showing up for practicum in the two years of my student teaching career. I would like to say that I faked the whole thing and played hookie, but I didn't. I woke up with the worst stomache ache I've had in a long time and it looks like my body couldn't handle the pasta I had last night. It was painful and to have gone to school wouldn've been better. I kept waking up throughout the morning wondering what my class was doing lol. My stoache feels a lot better as I took some medicine and had some rest, but looks like pasta is out of the question for me for a while.
Strangely enough, there wasn't any food to eat for lunch and since I was feeling a bit better, I went out and got some Marie Brown's chicken strips with potato wedges and potato salad for lunch. It was my first time eating there and I remember a friend telling me that the food was decent there. Well it was pretty good but quite expesnive. They gave tonnes of wedges and very little chicken strips. I'm quite stuffed though haha. I don't know what I was thinking though...feeding my stomache junk food when it was already in a state of unease. :P
So what have I done today? Nothing but relax and recover. Hopefully my Partner Teacher doesn't hate me too much for skipping out on the day. :P
Strangely enough, there wasn't any food to eat for lunch and since I was feeling a bit better, I went out and got some Marie Brown's chicken strips with potato wedges and potato salad for lunch. It was my first time eating there and I remember a friend telling me that the food was decent there. Well it was pretty good but quite expesnive. They gave tonnes of wedges and very little chicken strips. I'm quite stuffed though haha. I don't know what I was thinking though...feeding my stomache junk food when it was already in a state of unease. :P
So what have I done today? Nothing but relax and recover. Hopefully my Partner Teacher doesn't hate me too much for skipping out on the day. :P
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Yeah Right!
I think it's such a lie when people say they don't care what others think of them. One of the deepest longings in people's hearts is to be accepted and to be acknowledged. Donald Miller writes in "Searching for God Knows What", "It seemed that every human being had this need for something outside himself to tell him who he was...It explained why I wanted to be seen as smart, why religious people wanted so desperately to be right, why Shirley MacLaine wanted to be God, and just about everything else a human did." I can testify to that. That's why I think it's bogus when people say otherwise. :P
Hmmm...Alicia introduced Jon and I to Wonderfalls today and I have to say, I'm semi-interested in finishing watching the other 11 episodes haha. Maybe we should meet up and finish watching the show together. :P
Man, I have 4 new CDs open from this week and what I really hate about opening so many CDs all at once is that I can't give all my attention to any particular disk. From past experience, I always end up liking a CD more than another and thus give all my attention to that one. The rest end up collecting dust becuase I didn't give them a fair chance. Well, I've been listening to all 4 these last few days so hopefully I can avoid the trend I've been setting with previous CDs haha.
I wasn't going to open my Skillet CD but because Geo said it was good, I was more open to the idea of listening to it. Also, Christine said she was going to pick up the CD so that put me over the edge and I opened it. Glad I did. Thumbs up! :) I'm in the middle of listening to it right now! :)
As for the Newsboys, I'm glad you guys are back to your rockin' roots. No more contempoary worship albums for awhile please...although the last one was good, it's just not what the Newsboys are known for. :P
Oh and I'm glad I picked up this Phil Joel album. This CD is to refocus us back on spending more time with God. Love it.
FOF, I can't stop listening to all the tracks on the EP! AHHHH! One of my fav bands without a doubt!
So many CDs and I've noticed that I have way too many CDs, Toys, Comics and books. Any suggestions on what to do with all this stuff? Hmmm...should I sell my stuff? I don't want to get ripped off. Maybe I should just stop buying new stuff? Or maybe I should just get a bigger house! :P Hopefully I'll marry someone who doesn't mind all my junk. :)
Hmmm...Alicia introduced Jon and I to Wonderfalls today and I have to say, I'm semi-interested in finishing watching the other 11 episodes haha. Maybe we should meet up and finish watching the show together. :P
Man, I have 4 new CDs open from this week and what I really hate about opening so many CDs all at once is that I can't give all my attention to any particular disk. From past experience, I always end up liking a CD more than another and thus give all my attention to that one. The rest end up collecting dust becuase I didn't give them a fair chance. Well, I've been listening to all 4 these last few days so hopefully I can avoid the trend I've been setting with previous CDs haha.
I wasn't going to open my Skillet CD but because Geo said it was good, I was more open to the idea of listening to it. Also, Christine said she was going to pick up the CD so that put me over the edge and I opened it. Glad I did. Thumbs up! :) I'm in the middle of listening to it right now! :)
As for the Newsboys, I'm glad you guys are back to your rockin' roots. No more contempoary worship albums for awhile please...although the last one was good, it's just not what the Newsboys are known for. :P
Oh and I'm glad I picked up this Phil Joel album. This CD is to refocus us back on spending more time with God. Love it.
FOF, I can't stop listening to all the tracks on the EP! AHHHH! One of my fav bands without a doubt!
So many CDs and I've noticed that I have way too many CDs, Toys, Comics and books. Any suggestions on what to do with all this stuff? Hmmm...should I sell my stuff? I don't want to get ripped off. Maybe I should just stop buying new stuff? Or maybe I should just get a bigger house! :P Hopefully I'll marry someone who doesn't mind all my junk. :)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
FOF
Hurrahhh, my new Future of Forestry EP CD came in today. "Gosh darn it"--in the words of Hank Hill--I'm glad this CD is finally here haha! I loved Something Like Silas and am looking forward to their new CD sometime in '07. For now, this EP will have to do! The lead singer/guitarist is Chinese and the drummer is Korean. One thing that's a negatory on them is some pics of the lead singer with facial hair. Sorry, but asian peeps should lay low on the facial hair; it just doesn't work very well for most of them! :P
I can't wait 'til tommorrow becuase it means I can go to CP and pick up some new CDs! I'm hoping to pick up the new Newsboys (with new guitarist Paul Coleman), and perhaps Jeremy Camp and the latest solo album by Phil Joel (bassist of Newsboys). CP is suppose to be a good place but I can't help but feel like I'm sinning there as I splurge uncontrollably there lol.
Man, I'm getting excited....4 more weeks to go for practicum, soon the Wii is coming out, and Christmas is definitely on the way too! :P Here are some games I'm looking forward to for the Wii: Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Trauma Center: Second Opinion (a simulation game where you get to be the doctor and perform surgeries!), Rayman Raving Rabbids (lots of mini games!), Madden NFL '07 (you get to move your Wii-mote, when hiking a ball to the QB and you get to perform a motion to perform a throw), and Elebits (which I have no idea what it's about...but it looks fun because you get to walk around a kitchen and zap things!).
Man oh man, so many things I want for Christmas WAHAHAH! :) I want it all! And what Kingston wants, Kingston will get!!!! :)
I can't wait 'til tommorrow becuase it means I can go to CP and pick up some new CDs! I'm hoping to pick up the new Newsboys (with new guitarist Paul Coleman), and perhaps Jeremy Camp and the latest solo album by Phil Joel (bassist of Newsboys). CP is suppose to be a good place but I can't help but feel like I'm sinning there as I splurge uncontrollably there lol.
Man, I'm getting excited....4 more weeks to go for practicum, soon the Wii is coming out, and Christmas is definitely on the way too! :P Here are some games I'm looking forward to for the Wii: Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Trauma Center: Second Opinion (a simulation game where you get to be the doctor and perform surgeries!), Rayman Raving Rabbids (lots of mini games!), Madden NFL '07 (you get to move your Wii-mote, when hiking a ball to the QB and you get to perform a motion to perform a throw), and Elebits (which I have no idea what it's about...but it looks fun because you get to walk around a kitchen and zap things!).
Man oh man, so many things I want for Christmas WAHAHAH! :) I want it all! And what Kingston wants, Kingston will get!!!! :)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Lost Again
Man, is it November already?!?! :P Four More Weeks of Practicum after tommorrow!!! :) I can't wait 'til it's all over but once again, it's bittersweet. I want to complete being a student teacher and become a full-fledge one.
It's funny because I was thinking about how I feel like I've lost a lot of my passion for ministry in the church. However, my passion for teaching has increased by an exponential amount. Last year, I wasn't sure if this is where I wanted to be, but now I am sure, teaching for me is where it's at. It's weird how teaching has become exciting where as ministries now I'm certain uncertain about. Maybe reaching kids through teaching is my new ministry. :P
Man, I just watched Lost and all I can say is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm also hooked on a new TV show right now called "The Nine." It follows Lost on Wednesday nights. I missed the first 4 episodes but because I'm teaching less this week, I had a chance to catch up on the show. It's pretty good and I think that is officially "my new show" for this season haha. Speaking of which, it's on right now so talk to you later peeps! :) Payce!
It's funny because I was thinking about how I feel like I've lost a lot of my passion for ministry in the church. However, my passion for teaching has increased by an exponential amount. Last year, I wasn't sure if this is where I wanted to be, but now I am sure, teaching for me is where it's at. It's weird how teaching has become exciting where as ministries now I'm certain uncertain about. Maybe reaching kids through teaching is my new ministry. :P
Man, I just watched Lost and all I can say is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm also hooked on a new TV show right now called "The Nine." It follows Lost on Wednesday nights. I missed the first 4 episodes but because I'm teaching less this week, I had a chance to catch up on the show. It's pretty good and I think that is officially "my new show" for this season haha. Speaking of which, it's on right now so talk to you later peeps! :) Payce!
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