Blue Horizons

"Horizon" by 38th Parallel

Another day burns away into darkness
Another blink of the eye of time
I am straining through the blackness
Ever searching for a sign

[Prechorus]
The days grow long and the days grow dark
And the days grow ever colder
The trust that I started with fades as I get older
Though the road is hard
It seems to me there is no way around this
From all you've done for me
I know you'll never break your promise

[Chorus]
So here at the end of this day
Where the world is shaded in gray
I will look to the blue horizons and watch for you to come
When my hope is tattered and torn
When my faith is weathered and worn
I'll look to the blue horizons

I am still walking, evading the shadows
I am still running that narrow line
I'll go wherever you would have me

Man, it's funny because this song is like 3 or 4 years old, but I only heard it recently on Shine. I can't say that I've heard it anytime before a few weeks ago...so that's weird that they would play an old song...especially an old song that isn't already overplayed. :P Anyways, this song is the one that is currently going through Itunes nonstop right now haha! :)

I really wish I had more time to do some personal reading. I still haven't gotten very far in "Searching for God Knows What," but I read the 4th chapter from the book today and I really want to finish this book lol. I also reread a chapter from "Wild at Heart" for tommorrow's Alley Fellowship meeting and I think this was the climax of the entire book! I really enjoyed this chapter because it really spoke to me about things I forgot about lol. I know we'll have some excellent discussion time tommorrow lol. :P

I just found out a friend of mine from Education got dumped by her boyfriend over the weekend. She was all sad and not talking during lunchtime in the staffroom and that was really discouraging for me to see her like that. She said that her boyfriend had thought things were going well at first but he gets scared off when things go to well. Talk about commitment issues!!! :P Well, I couldn't bash the guy because guys my age are usually like that and I have to say I can relate.

I had a talk with another friend from Education today about how her and I came from broken families and the fact that everyone who came from families with parents still together had an easier time going out with people and enjoying themselves while a lot of us who have parents that got divorced find it difficult letting people get too close to them. I think we're the type of people who have been affected really horribly by our parents and thus our faith in relationships just doesn't exist. Seriously, maybe that's my problem. Maybe I like finding reasons to end relationships before things get too up close and personal. Who knows. Maybe that's why a part of me even though wanting the ideal life with marriage and all doesn't mind the safety of singleness. It's better to have the latter than to end up with the resulting crippleness I saw everyone in my family experience. :P Is there a Blue Horizon for me there?

Things are getting busy again in my classroom. It's driving me nuts how my teacher can be so last minute with details lol. On one hand, it teaches me flexibility so I love it but on the other, he can really put me on the spot! I will be taking over the class in a week or so full-time for about two weeks so I guess I get a chance to see what I'm made of. I've lost momentum in teaching my class because I missed yesterday due to sickness. Getting back in sync with my students takes a lot more energy than I initially thought. I pray God gives me energy because for some reason, I'm just tired again. Man, I gotta find a way to keep my energy levels up because the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!!!

I think teaching is just a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes you feel like you can do it; sometimes you just regress and want to crawl into a corner and hide. Sometimes you have the drive and energy to make it through the week; sometimes you have weeks where you just want to give up and cry. I think if anyone is mentally unstable, teaching is not for you. Good thing I'm sane to the membrane!! :P