Meet me at the Crossroads, Crossroads, Crossroads....

Seems like no matter what I do, things don't get any less complicated. It's one crossroad after another and I find that God keeps calling me back to Him in prayer. I have been told by many people what to do at every fork in the road I've come across. I know I love asking for advice but accepting it is another story. I guess it's good in a way becuase I take into account what others say but ultimately I don't let others dictate what course of action I should take. Does it make things any easier? No. At least my decision won't have to be made for another few weeks. Decisions, decisions. Oh Lord God show me Your will.....

Hmmmm.....

My bro has told me that I think too much about things. I think that's true becuase any opportunity I have to relax, I ponder things and begin to worry. And when I overthink, I start to regret.

I also have the nature of being impulsive. I know this to be true because I have made decisions that make no sense. I follow my gut and then when I get a chance to ponder, I regret the rash decisions too.

So if I am screwed for overthinking and am screwed when I'm impulsive, what do I do? And an even bigger question: what the heck is wrong with me!?



This song really helps when I overthink about overthinking.... :(

LET'S GET IT ON!!!

It's almost here. It's been delay after delay after delay.....but we are almost at the end of the waiting period! :P Super Smash Bros. Brawl comes out this Sunday, March 9th, 2008!!!! The full roster of characters has been released from the already release Japanese version. I'm excited to play Pitt (aka Kid Icarus), Sonic the Hedeghog and yes, Pokemon Trainer (secret shame)!! :P I wonder if I should take some days off this next week!?!? :P :P :P

What else am I excited for? Hmmm...how about Marvel's next crossover event Secret Invasion? That starts in April but everything that has been happening with the comic company has built up to this moment. The Marvel Universe has been madness these past few years. First with Scarlet Witch going nuts and killing her teammates on the Avengers. Then she reconstructed reality in The House of M. Then Civil War takes place pitting hero v.s. hero. This leads to Iron Man becoming the head of SHIELD and Captain America's demise. The theory is that skrulls have secretly infiltrated our planet and have shape shifted into and replaced our lovable heroes. This leads the question, who is a skrull and what of the heroes who have been replaced? And are they the reason why the Marvel Universe has turned in chaos? I guess April's first issue of eight. Another big event...here we go again.....

Spring is Coming

What I really enjoy at this point of the year is the fact that I'm not driving to work in complete darkness anymore. I love that just as I'm about to pull up to school, the Sun is poking its head out and it gives me lots of energy. Do you ever have those tired larthargic moments where you feel miserable and then just step into the sun for a few minutes and everything seems better? Man, that rocks!!! :)

So I'm thinking about where I want to go for some vacation time both this summer and for Easter break. Hmmmm....anyone want to go to San Diego at the end of July for some Comic Con action?!!? :)

Two more episodes of Lost until there is a break until the end of April.
Dang, that last episode was my favorite of this season.

Tonight is the season finale of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronichles. WAY too soon for a season to be over...I've really enjoyed this show thus far.

And as for American Idol, I have two favorites right now I'm cheering for. David Archuleta has an amazing voice for a 16-17 year kid. Best of the show. Brooke White doesn't have the most powerful voice, but she has her own style and has already figured that out so it's awesome watching her perform. Below are two vids. David sings Lennon's "Imagine" and Brooke sings "You're so Vain" by Carly Simon. I like how they're letting the singers play instruments this year. Nice!

A Sense of ....?!?!

Hmmm for some reason, my kids have been very rowdy lately. I don't know, maybe it's because my attitude is a lot more easy going with them now. I've had some struggles with balancing class management in my room. For the most part, I've actually been this firm teacher who has displayed very little personality with the students to maintain order.

The past month or two however, I've totally changed my ways. I'm more easy going with the students and you can tell that they find me more approachable. One kid who's "Mr. Bad Boy" has really had a turn around with me. He doesn't give me the scowl and doesn't refuse to answer when I talk to him now. He actually smiles at me. Don't get me wrong...he's still bad! He's a bit more receptive to me now though.

Another student was joking with me today when I took them out to build snowmen for Gym. She was talking about how her hands were cold and I told her to put her hands in her pockets to warm them up. She then proceed to tell me, "I can do the magic. I will get my gloves from tha classroom." She reached into her pocket and then "instantly" pulled out her gloves and made some "brrooom!!!" sound to show that it was some magic she performed. I thought that was hilarious. She is truly not a behavioural child but is in my class because she is ESL so her broken english was trying to tell me this story and yet I somehow managed to put together what she said.

I think I was told to start firm with them from the start and then work on being their friends towards the last half so I could really be rememembered as a teacher who cared for them LOL. He told me this? I don't know if it works. All I can do is teach myself. Hmmmm....there's a lot of pressure at school to keep classroom order so what is modelled to me by the upper management is what I'm expected to use. Despite all the advice I've been given and despite my upper management, I don't know if I can use those techniques unless they're comfortable to me.

And that snow experience was really fun. My class rolled huge snowballs and I picked them up and stacked them. The first head was wayyyy to small and then the last head we used was as big as the other two parts of the body. The whole thing fell over and we all laughed. Man, I kept thinking that whole time "how I wish I brought my camera".....my kids and I had a blast. I know I complain a lot about teaching but there is always good in the profession. I still have so much to complain about, but at least I can say I've been enjoying myself for the past few months. There are certain moments that we all hold close to us in life that we'll never forget. This was definitely one of them. Amazing!

My coworker told me not to think of the politics and battle them. She told me to focus and do what I got to do. I have to do it for the students or it won't be rewarding. Words of wisdom. I could almost sense God was telling me that truth through her. The words have impacted me and I still hold close to me since she spoke them to me. After all, who'd of thunk I would be enjoying myself? Man, that makes each day go by so much faster....:P

It was the Best of times; it was the Blurst of times?!

Today's been the perfect day and it's been awhile since I've had such bliss. Don't take it for granted; make each moment count. And that reminds me of a song. It's called "Like You'll Never See Me Again" by the ultra talented and lovely Miss Alicia Keys. Enjoy!! :)

Incontinent or Incompetant?

"Dear Baby,

Welcome to Dumpville. Population: You!" :)

Haha...above, is a Simpsons quote I was just thinking about. That just speaks as to how silly I am these days (even more so than usual). Don't know what's gotten over me. I am like that even at work. Smiling more with my kids and being a goof with them. And yet this is the most happy I've been as a teacher...well, ever!

I am excited that I have mastered the cutting board. Well not to say I was an idiot about it before but in the past, I used to cut my papers in all the wrong sizes when all I wanted was two equal parts. Well wait, maybe I was an idiot back then hah :)

I think I'm like that. Always rushing to get things done.....even with art I was like that as a child. And thus, this leads to imperfections. Alas, those days are now history! :P ....well at least with the cutting board..other things, maybe I'm still like that haha!

My coworkers have been complimenting me about how clean my room is lately. Even before interviews, they said this and it wasn't like I did anything differently. They just noticed that I'm clean now and we're already halfway done with the school year? :P

Looking forward to tomorrow--it is our Valentine's party and there is an assembly with MAD Science!! :) After that, it's no teaching for 5 days!! YES!!!!! :) Teachers, hope to see ya'll at Convention on Thursday! :) Payce!! :)

Settling down

Yup, things are winding down again as I just finished with printing report cards. Not as much urgency in work again which is kind of nice. I guess I have all this time to read up on how to update my teaching practices but I am so exhausted from everything. I am getting used to it a bit more....the feeling of being exhausted. Well, at least I'm not as pissed about it haha. Today was a good day but you all know as well as I do that it's such a daily struggle.

And how everything is a battle it seems. I am trying to tell myself not to overplan because that makes me struggle. More in the moment I try to tell myself but even changing mentalities to make things easier is a struggle in itself! :P

What a great episode of Lost it was this week. I want more. Strike be over. Done with. Can't believe that it will only ben 7 more episodes 'til Lost is over again for another season! :(

Other shows I'm diggin' right now: Prison Break, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and The Simpsons. Still watching American Idol and will be watching Survivor when it comes back on...but even these shows are losing their lustre! :P

Been thinking about vacations as of late. Where to go this summer....thinking somewhere in the States or maybe south of the States!! :)

I Now Declare This Day....

...SNOW DAY!!! Whoo-hoo, I got to skip work today because it closed down due to the cold weather. Well, I had prepared for a sub and written a sub plan and everything too so what a waste of effort! :P

Yesterday I went to the Lulu sale at the Big 4 but I came out with nothing. Nadda. Zilch. Also tried the new Calgary Court by T & T and that was pretty good....pretty much the same thing as downtown...just smaller selection. :P

Today I had to get a lot of stuff done with the family but I took the afternoon to play some Donkey Kong Country 3! Woot woot!! It's not as fun as the 2nd one, but I do enjoy it and it brings back good memories of my childhood haha.

Dim Sum was awesome today. Even notice that you never get ALL the dishes you want? We all have our favorites but I've noticed that it's impossible to get every single one of the favorite dishes. Today, we were missing Egg Tarts (becuase we got there too early.... 10:50am!!). Too bad because I love the Egg Tarts at Central Grande. Always nice and hot and they need to be specially ordered!! :P Everything else was there today though. Won missed the Eggplants though. Haha Too bad!!!

Oh how my paycheck disappears. Life how your harsh realities try to choke me of my happiness......sigh....no more over spending!!! :P

Under the Sea

Boy I hate my job today. :) I remember a coworker from MRC College Kids told me how my attitude is. She used her finger and went up and down quite rigidly and said I was like this rollercoaster. Haha...maybe I'm just a boom/bust cycle to those of you who are Economists or in Business! :P In any case, I just take it one day at a time. Today was not a great day, but I survived. :)

I've been eating tons of seaweed as of late. Maybe 5 different ways of eating it in the past weekend. There's the soup and the sushi of course but then there's the packaged stuff that is indiviually wrapped that people eat as a snack. Also, I ate the deep fried kind with all of the salt and MSG. Crystal let me try the tempura chips with seaweed too. And then BJ told me to buy the Korean kind that is roasted and mixed with sesame oil. MMMMMM....I can't stop eating seaweed and I've only started liking it after hating throughout childhood! :P

And thanks again to everyone who has supported me with talk and prayers about my spiritual attack. Last night, was a better night. I kept waking up...but nothing out of the ordainary happened! :)

Another TV season upon us minus 24

Okay, not much exciting going on with me lately. I've just been busy and school is tiring but things have been good for the most part these last 1.5 weeks :)

American Idol starts today. Prison Break came back on last night. Lost starts at the end of the month. I feel empty without my 24 fix though. Is Tony a bad guy?! AAHHHH...why did I watch that trailer? :P I also watched the first two episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and they were decent. Don't know if I'll watch faithfully though.

Well, things are getting busy with report cards round 2 coming upon us. I have 2 weeks to get them done and I haven't even started.....sigh....hope they get done quickly.

I picked up 5 or 6 games for my DS. Still need to head to Wal-Mart to pick up Zack and Wiki for my Wii. So much gaming...so little time!! :P My favorite game for the DS so far is Picross DS!! LOVE IT!!! :)

25 and then some...

Hello Blogging World! Today was the first day of classes and it was nice to see my students again. They were attentive and I'm surprised that they remembered so much. All of the teachers were warning me they would forget things because of the break but so far so good! :)

Not to say that I'm not bloody tired today becuase I am. Things went really fast today during work. It's hard getting into the grove of things though. I don't know if it's becuase of the two week break but I'm finding it hard to lesson plan this week. I do all my planning on my bed and I think it might've been hard to do that because my new bed came in and it's so comfortable....in fact it's too comfortable that I absolutely didn't want to work on it. :P

Speaking of the new bed, boy is it comfortable. I woke up a few times and was frazzled as to where I was a few times during the night though becuase everything was unfamiliar to me. The bed takes up most of my room so I'm questioning as to whether I should get rid of anything in my room or not...like a table? Comics? Toys?!!?

Thanks again to all the church peeps for a great birthday party. I couldn't ask for more because I had a great meal and great company. It was all my favorite foods: roast, potatoes, corn and mushrooms....not to mention ice cream cake. Thanks again for spending the Sunday with me! Everything was sweet!

Gosh

....it's funny how you can love your job at one minute, and then hate it another. I had a great PD Day on Thursday but today has left me angry and frustrated. Sometimes I complain about how I hate teaching in general terms, but today I have more specifics. Don't you hate it when you have 2 jobs you intend to do but then you end up having to do 6 other things? With these new problems being tackled, when it's all said and done, the old jobs are not taken care of. They go back onto the agenda for the next day. Well that's what happens in teaching!! :P

Also, administration is super annoying. I wonder if I should go into admin. I'd love to be the one to hire people haha. I'd hate all the paperwork and the pressure though. Man, that'd suck! Is it too hard to ask for a boss(es) who know what they're doing? Dah!!

The only consolation I get was that even though I had a great day on Thursday, it was an extremely clumsy day for me. I was frazzled for giving myself paper cuts and dropping things like paper in the snow. I also rammed my principal's thumb into a wall with a table when we were trying to carry it out of my classroom! Take that crappy school!! :)

The Amazing Race

I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow. When I've had this much time off, a part of me just dreads going back. I'm sure tomorrow will be okay--kind of glad that it's just PD for the next few days.

How was this year for me? All I can say is: INTERESTING. God knows how to spice things up and by doing so has made me confused about many things. I look at people who plan the details of their lives and they're all so simplistic. Everything goes according to schedule and yet I look at my life and so much has happened to deviate from what I initially wanted. I can't help but to have the attitude of Job and think, "why me?" Despite that, I'm not going to whine here about it. It's actually exciting and scary at the same time. God keeps me on my toes and it's a great adventure. Despite my plans not falling through, He shows me that He never leaves my side. Even if I don't have what I want, I can still wait right? Even if it doesn't happen later on according to my plans, it's also good becuase it's God's way and that's the end of the story. God is God and I am man...seeing only some small part of the grand picture.

So I look forward to what this year has to bring. What do I have to look foward to? Paying a mortgage. Working at a job I have found far more difficult than I ever imagined it could be. Being away from the one I hold dearest to me. Haha...well, despite all of this, God, I'm hoping. I'm trusting. I'm letting go. I'm open for you to use me however you want. Speak to me Lord and lead in Your ways...

"Lookie Lookie I got Hookie!" :)

Anybody know where that above quote comes from? :)


No work tomorrow....well kind of. I am feeling exhausted and tired so I called in a sub. I will take my sick day to work on completing my report cards! :P

I'm a survivor! I'm gonna make it!! :)

I guess I've been complaining about my job a lot since I first got it. However, for the past few weeks now, I've been silenced from complaining. I think I'm getting used to it all. It's still challenging....don't get me wrong. I've got a lot on my plate over the next few weeks and I'm trying to hurry to get things done. The thing is though, this week I've had no energy to do anything. Maybe it was becuase of the double long weekend haha. Happy Belated Thanksgiving and Eid everyone! :P

I thought that changing my attitude about teaching could help me enjoy it more but despite my happy happy feelings, I'm still coming home pooped! It makes me wonder if the saying, "10% of what we go through is situational, 90% is attiude" is true. :P Lame!!!

On a somewhat related note, do you ever feel like an imposter? Do you ever feel like your friends, coworkers, and everyone else around you will discover you're a fraud? Maybe you're not really a fraud? Maybe you just feel that way? Still...those feelings occur. I am not having a breakdown or anything. However, sometimes, even as a teacher, I wonder, "am I REALLY a teacher? Or am I just someone who has no idea what he's doing and everyone who's around me can see that I'm not really a teacher.....only they're not telling me!?! LOL...I feel that way once in awhile about worship leading too and various other things.....hmmmmm.... :) Too bad the fad of blogging has died because I would've liked to have had some people's insights on this subject matter! :)

Getting Things in Order

Today was pretty cool because I didn't know that the new season of Beauty and the Geek started but when my bro flipped to The CW, we caught it right on! This year, there is a 'surprise' twist at the end and whether this is good or bad, it is hard to say haha. The show has a lot of Engineers this season and one REALLY creepy guy. *GULP...he seems like one of those guys that could snap and kill someone....:P

Things went well today in my class. One of my kids was absent because he was serving a suspension. The whole dynamics of the class was different. Hmmmm....I don't want him to get too far behind but I am thinking that when he comes back, the pleasantries I've been experiencing in my class will be short-lived. :P

I have been praying about all of this teaching stuff a lot lately. I am starting to accept the fact that maybe there is nothing else for me at this point and this could be where God wants me to be. My class is coming together more: I'm getting Scholatstics orders soon, visuals with words of the picture are going up all over my room and I've received almost all my supplies. :) Heck, I'm even 1-1.5 weeks ahead of schedule planning wise! That puts me more at ease. I'm not as anxious about all of this teaching stuff...though I am still a bit. Most of my other teacher friends who graduated with me and have their own class also feel the jitters about all of this. Everyone's been telling me of the late nights and all. I've been having less and less of thoses I have to admit. I'm trying not to overdue things. Almost done the FIRST month!!! 9 more teaching months to go!! Woo-Hoo!!! :P

With the business I've recently experienced...

....I'm amazed that I have found time to blog! :P

So what's new with me? Well, I'm teaching grade 2 and even though it really isn't where I expected I'd end up, here I am! :P

It's been a great test for me these past few weeks and I've been stretched in various different ways.

I wish I could say teaching has been everything I've imagined but it hasn't.

I've wanted out on various days over the past few weeks...even this morning I was whining to my bro.

Right now, I feel like I'm okay. I looked over my lesson plans for the next week....been working on them for the last few days. I feel...calmer.

I'm sick because one of my students coughed on me and now I have the same cold as he does. I want to get better ASAP! :P

So in conclusion to all of this, God help me to love this if this is where you want me to be because I can't do this without you. I feel like I truly need you and I'm crying out...you're turning my eyes upon you again in my darkest hour.....

You've been served!

Arg! So tired! Service was AWESOME today. Anyone else agree? I felt like I got 4 sermons in 1 day today. Even though Karl Feltmate's message was quite meat filled, what really is sticking with me is when he said, that there is a cost to intimacy. In a human relationship, when we are committed to friends or family or a significant other, we have to make those sacrifices to maintain that closeness with them. It is simple not enough to say we care for each other but we show that we love each other by giving time to each other. This requires time...even if we're tired and exhausted and feel so stretched.

And isn't that same cost to intimacy true with our relationship with God? How much more is this relationship to us? It requires us to make plans and actively do things to increase our intimacy with God...like planning a date or meeting up for dinner to catch up with friends. If we want to be intimate, we have to give that time--intimacy requires us to do this to do this!

And given that I'm tired right now and am blogging, this must mean I have intimacy with my blog because I'm making time to update it! :P I've neglected you for too long blog....but I'm ready to rekindle our love! :P

PS On an unrelated note, I don't know if you anyone has ever heard a pack of cyotes howl at night but they're going at it right now and it's totally freaking me out!!! :P

"DIG"

This one's by Incubus! Lyrics below!! :)



We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.

Are you not Digging this song like I am!? :) Mwahaha! See ya'll at Campfire tonight!!